One thing about me....

that no one knows. At least that's the challenge on 2peas. I can't think of anything about me that absolutely no one knows. And I'm sure that if I could, there's probably a reason that no one knows about it. ;) However, there are somethings that only one person knows. And it may not necessarily be the same person that knows everything. Only two people know that I have a real "blood" sister. I didn't even know about her until earlier this year. My dad "confessed" to me. She's older than me, but not by much. She's supposedly just like me, according to my dad. But then, he doesn't know me very well, so I take that with a grain of salt. Maybe I'll email dad tomorrow and ask her name. And google her. LOL There's my stalkerish side coming out again. I guess that's my confession. I mean, pretty much everybody knows that I'm divorced, that I've been cheated on in every relationship I've ever had, that I'm diabetic, that I filed bankruptcy and that I'm unemployed. I'm pretty much an open book. But then, I'm not good at keeping secrets.

So my classes start on Monday. I'm worried. But that is the nature of this beast. I worry about everything. I told my boyfriend I wanted to completely take over the office. He didn't respond. I wonder what that means? Seriously though, I have the grand visions of my "space". I want to throw my comfy chair in there with some soft pillows for a reading spot. I want to clean up my mess so I can actually function. I'm not happy with my desk. As a matter of fact, I think it sucks, now that I'm actually using it. I was happy as a clam with it before, but now, it's just not working for me. So anyway, my vision includes my reading spot, a functional desk, my storage being utilized to the fullest and bestest and my stuff that needs to be filed actually being filed away. I know, keep dreaming... I think that I'll bring it back up tomorrow. It doesn't hurt to ask. :)

Oh! My BFF is talking about going to Hawaii for her birthday and taking Moi! How rockin' would that be?!?!? She wants to go for about 6 days and just lay around drinking tropical drinks off cabana boys. ;) I'm totally down with that. With my job loss, my medical problems (and the issue of no insurance), my money worries and the pressure of school and scouts added to the mix, I could use a vacation. Seriously. I need to relax. A lot.

Tuesday I go to the doctor for blood test results. *sigh* I know they're not gonna be good. I just know it. My blood sugars are never steady and never even near the ballpark they're supposed to be in. And lately I get vertigo, which is the worst feeling ever. Add that to the fact that I cannot sleep, even with sleeping pills, and well... I'm a little wound. Last night I was able to sleep. At 7pm. My kids woke me up 4 times between 7pm and 9pm. So this wasn't restful, but stressful sleep. And I had dreams last night when I was sleeping that were just awful. Not like blood and gore nightmares, but things that could come true in real life, like my boyfriend leaving me, me going into the hospital, losing custody of my kids, etc... All the little worries that hang out in the back depths of my mind, just festering and waiting to present themselves. The worst was the one where I went crawling back to my ex, because I just couldn't make it without him. {shudder}

Okay, well then... now that I've gotten all downy dumps, I'm going to go read for a bit and try to fall asleep. My DD has a trip to San Fran in the morning with her baseball team to see the SF Giants play. We have to get up early for that. And I've got a full day of planning and calling parents and such for GS. Seems like I have something to do on Monday too.... Guess I should work on that appointment book, lol.
G'nite!!